I Love You!

Each night when I put Lucas to bed, we have a little cuddle time before I put him in his crib. The lights are out, we snuggle and rock, and then I give him a kiss and tell him I love him. He usually says "something" back to me but it doesn't sound like anything. As you all know, Lucas' speech is a little delayed and it's just compounded by him being a pretty quiet kid. So when we figure out what he is saying, it's a major event because he just doesn't talk that much.

Last night I decided to pay better attention. And we started earlier. I said "Lucas, I love you!" And he smiled and said "I you!" "I love you, Lucas!" "I you!"

"I you!" My little boy loves me! And I you him, too!

Lucas at 2

Happy Birthday, Lucas!

My baby just turned 2. 2!!! Where has the time gone? I always think that a child is a "baby" until they turn 2. Does this mean that Lucas is no longer a baby? Is he now a little kid? He's certainly a toddler and for sure he is an angel. He brings a smile to my heart every time I look at him.

Lucas had his birthday party at Build a Bear in the mall. We invited the neighbor kids and my friend Liz's kids and it was cute and fun. There were 11 kids total (although one didn't make an animal) and the whole party pretty much consisted of everyone making their own teddy bear (dog, cat, bunny, monkey, whatever), but it was really sweet because everyone gets a turn stuffing their animal and then they all get a heart to put into their animal and a heart to put into Lucas' animal. So Lucas ended up with 12 hearts inside of his stuffed doggie and all the hearts are filled with love from his friends. Since Build a Bear doesn't have a party room, I made cake pops for all the kids to take home with them afterwards. None of them made it past 2 steps outside the door of the store (most of them inside the store) before they were devoured. I gave some to the girls who worked at the store too and think I made some lifelong friends. :)

The crown was from daycare -- he loved it!

At the age of 2, Lucas is very coordinated, very happy, and very sweet. He loves stuffed animals (especially dogs), his blanket, and his mommy. He loves meatballs and birthday cake. He loves coffee (no mistaking it, this is MY kid!) He loves his high chair (we're having a hard time transitioning to a booster seat) and he loves water. Bath night happens every night and he is pretty good about going to bed quickly afterwards. Lucas is still in a crib although I think in the next few months we're going to try to take the front rail down and see how he does in the toddler portion of the bed. I kind of think though that if we are going to take him out of the crib that we just turn the crib right into the full-size bed that it will become. Bed vs. toddler bed -- any difference here? We are introducing the potty to Lucas and he is very interested in reading the potty story, but not so interested in using the actual potty. He's not uninterested though and does sit on it sometimes (before his nightly bath). His speech is still a bit delayed although I'm hearing a few more words and consonants from him lately.

Today was Lucas' 2 year check-up at the doctor. I was anxious to speak with the doctor about several things and had a list in my head of what to talk to her about. Poor Lucas remembers well though what happens at the doctor's office, and he was clingy and crying while we were there. I did get to speak to the doctor though and she made me feel a lot better about many things. 1) We have used the nebulizer a few times this winter with Lucas. Should we be concerned about asthma? Her response: keep an eye on it, but not concerned. It seems mild and many kids grow out of this by the time they're 3. 2) I'm seeing a pattern with the "colds" each spring. Could Lucas have allergies? Her response: Good for you for paying attention! Yes, he might, but again, if it's mild, he may grow out of them in a few years. He is at this point okay for taking OTC allergy meds. 3) Lucas' speech is behind what Zach was at this age. His hearing is fine. Should we be worried about his speech? Her response: he's a few months behind where he should be, but all kids are different and he is still in the range of "normal". He wouldn't qualify for early speech intervention but let's keep an eye on this and see if he is progressing. So overall, a good check up. Lucas is growing well and is now 35" tall and 31.9 pounds. That puts him in the 75th and 85th percentiles and she said he is beautiful. She said this while looking at him and said it probably 3 more times. Of course, Lucas was flushed (all that crying) so his cheeks were red and his eyes were brilliant blue and he did look quite beautiful. :)

The water table was a gift to Lucas from Grammy and Papa Bob!
Both boys clearly love it!

Easter and Anniversaries

April 8, 2006

 Easter is one of those holidays that "jumps around". Meaning, it's never the same day each year. I think it has something to do with the full moon, but I have never quite figured it out. I think it's funny that Easter was early in 2010 (so before Lucas was born) and then late in 2011 which meant that Easter came that year after he had already turned 1 year old. I just think that's kind of funny. :) But anyway, this year Easter happened to fall on my wedding anniversary! Happy 6th anniversary to me and Kevin! What a beautiful day we had for our wedding. So much fun and such great memories. It's funny to look back at our wedding pictures now and think how far we've come -- we bought a house and moved to the suburbs, had a couple of kids, graduated Emily from high school, and have made a life together. Kevin and I have been together for a looong time (longer unmarried than married, so far!), but the last 6 years have absolutely been the best years and I sometimes want to pinch myself, to be sure this is all really happening to me. I really am the luckiest girl in the world!

Emily had the Easter weekend off from work and came home for a couple of nights. These visits home are becoming more of a rare occurrence since she works most weekends so it was a special treat to have her visit. She even babysat for us on Saturday night so Kevin and I could go out for a nice dinner out. The boys were of course thrilled to have her home, and Lucas was so cute when he woke up on Sunday morning. He usually calls for me if he wakes up before I do: "Mama, Mama!" So he did that but I didn't get up right away. His voice is so cute (and I was so tired) so I just laid in bed listening to him for a minute. Well, then Lucas remembered who had put him to bed the night before so he started calling: "Em, Em!" I got a big smile on my face and ran out of bed to him so he didn't wake her up just yet.

I'm starting to recognize a pattern (and I've been in denial about this) with the last 2 years that Lucas seems to have a cold on his birthday. Clearly these are allergies (the part I've been in denial about), but poor baby, he is just miserable for about a week or two in the spring. This year was no different and Lucas was not feeling great on Easter. He was pretty grumpy and we decided to not take any chances on him melting down in church and opted to not take him. Kevin and Zach went though and prayed for us. :) Lucas and I played at home and eventually woke up Emily so she could partake in the Easter egg hunt. She didn't actually collect any eggs, but she did follow along behind Lucas and pick up the eggs that kept falling out of his basket as he toddled around the yard. We spent the rest of the day sorting through the eggs and giving each boy a big tupperware container with the contents of their eggs inside, and then finally coloring eggs! Zach was excellent at this part. 4 years is a good age for so many things -- he finally has patience and understanding of how things work, and he really got into the egg dying. Lucas was a riot with picking up eggs that were in one color and plopping them into another color. The plopping was accompanied by a nice "crack" sound as the egg hit the bottom of the bowl.

Egg dying is fun!

Toddlers and Tantrums

He has the face of an angel, but the spirit of the impending 2 year age is nearing. Behold, we are starting to experience the Toddler Tantrum, Lucas Style.

Last night Lucas decided he really really really needed to take the empty J&J baby wash bottle out of the tub with him. I didn't agree with this decision (because we have played this game before and getting it away from him later is a nightmare) so I took it from him and placed it back in the tub. The next 15 minutes consisted of him smacking me, kicking me as I attempted to get his pjs and diaper on, screaming, yelling, sweating (me), singing (me), spinning in circles (him), throwing of stuffed animals (still him), hugging (me), and placing him in his crib to cry it out. This resulted in a heartbreaking series of "MAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAA!, MAMAAAAAAAAAA!, MAMAMAMAMAMAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" It was only for about a minute, but when I went back in his room he was in a much more reasonable mood. I picked him up and we rocked in his chair and hugged for another 15 minutes or so. He fell asleep in my arms and slept soundly all night. 

Lucas has been SUCH a good baby that I kind of thought maybe he'd skip the tantrum stage and be a really good 2 year old too. And maybe he will be, with the occasional tantrum thrown in there. But the 3rd time around I find myself kind of amused by the antics and A) know how to react (and when to pick my battles) and B) know that this too shall pass. He was actually really cute when he was so mad at me and spinning in circles in his room. He just didn't know how to react so did anything he could think of. I have learned that they pretty much react and have tantrums when they have an audience so that was really why I left him in his crib -- because I knew he needed to calm down before we could get anywhere, and his crib is a safe place. 

I Got This

I ran a 5k tonight. It was on the treadmill at the Y, but still -- I did the full thing. Well, I should confess that I slowed to a brisk walk after the 2 mile mark because the damn treadmill made me do a couple of minutes of running with an incline which was tough, but my brisk walk portion was short. I finished my 5k in under 36 minutes, which translates to roughly 12 minute miles. I'm happy with that. I'm actually thrilled by that!

I think I've figured out what the trick is. Visualization. I ran in a different part of the Y tonight which ended up being helpful because the section I usually run in has the TVs and I end up trying to follow along to a show and I get all caught up and confused by trying to read the subtitles too. In the section where I ran tonight, I faced a corridor that overlooks the pool so I did a lot more people watching. It was good; I think I may choose this area again next time. I tried to focus on my music and my breathing and run in beat to the music. I kept at a pace (around 11 minutes/mile) that was workable for me -- I could steadily run without getting a cramp and not so slow that it was laughable. Well, maybe for serious runners it's a laughable pace, but for me at this stage of the game it was good. I set small goals for myself -- run to the end of this song, run another minute, run to another mile marker -- and told myself that when I hit that goal that I could slow to a walk. And then I kept on running anyway with another small goal in mind. And it worked out somehow that I ran over 3 miles without laming out to a walk or doing my usual "run for 20 minutes and see how far I've gone" trick.

I've been kind of beating up on myself for the past month because I have definitely fallen off the workout wagon. I've been going to the gym, but not really doing great runs or workouts, and my eating habits have been terrible. My snacking really has been terrible. This small success at the gym was a biggie for me -- it gave me a lot more confidence and made me feel like I can do this. I got this. I can run a 5k, hey maybe even another 5k later this year?, and do it without any huge problems. Trust me, a month ago I wouldn't have said I could do it. Today? Feeling a lottttttt more confident.

Family Rules

I first saw this great piece of art before Christmas and really wanted to buy it. Of course I didn't and then when I went back to get it, it was gone. Now I'm seeing these pictures everywhere but the first one I saw remains my favorite. It was a little different than the one shown here, a bit bigger, but when I saw this one at TJ Maxx yesterday, I knew I had to get it. It has such a nice message and I thought it would be important for the boys to not only live them, but to see these phrases and hear them spoken. So I hung this print up in the kitchen yesterday and the boys are entranced. Zach and I keep talking about what our family rules are and he is helping to practice them. I have invoked them a few times already -- "remember the family rules, we all share!" and it does make Z pause and think. I'm getting even more hugs and "I love you"s from him than ever because of this sign. All in all, a great message to share on my kitchen wall and one that makes me smile when I see it.

Zachary

Zachary is my little man. He loves stuffed animals, live animals, Legos, playing in the dirt/water/MUD, the park, the beach, his family, his friends, preschool, picking flowers, his TAG reader, Daddy's iPad, his Leapster, Lucas' toys, bubbles, superheroes, Scooby Doo, his bike, popsicles, rain boots, the sandbox, singing, talking!, and a million other things. He is interested in everything and is very curious. He loves to help and loves to do projects. The projects might be crafts or they might be helping Daddy install cable in the toy room.

Zach will have full conversations with his animal friends. They answer him. He will also play games with toys that are a little non-traditional, for the toy. Today he played hide and seek with a bouncy ball. He called it "Bouncey" and would throw it and then run from it. Then he'd come back and "seek" it. It was pretty cute and I thought kind of creative. During this time I should point out that his partner in crime Lucas was napping. Zach does play well on his own, but if Lucas is around then they are running around together. Zach is usually the instigator of the games, many which are made-up and the rules change in mid-game, as he sees fit. Lucas just plays along and likes to run, laugh, scream, and hide. He and Zach are adorable together. It makes me so happy to see them playing together.

Sometimes I worry about Zach and his emotions. He is pretty sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily. But I think that will translate to a sensitive and caring man as he is older, and hopefully will help him to be empathetic to others. For now he's an incredibly sweet 4 year old boy and my adorable big boy, and he makes my days happy and complete with his dimpled smile. 

The Latest

Lucas turns 2 next month. My baby! Where has the time gone? He has grown up so much in the last few months. He is so smart and so cute. He is really good natured -- it takes a lot to make him cry. He generally shares pretty well and will only resist sharing or start to cry when he's overtired. He needs a good nap every day but is starting to resist it at daycare and sometimes skips it. No, he's too young! He needs those naps. I need him to take those naps!

Lucas is still pretty quiet. I still think it has a lot to do with not being able to get a word in edge-wise because of his brother, but make no mistake about his hearing. Lucas hears and understands everything. And somehow he gets his point across. He has a few words and one of my favorite things has been him changing "Mama" to "Mommy". Or what it really sounds like is "Mommeeeeee". When you ask him to say "dog" he barks. When you ask him to say "cow" he moos. And so on. Every so often he'll come out with a new word and you wonder how long he's been saying it and we just didn't understand. :)

Sadly, I think that just like his big brother, Lucas' hair is starting to get darker. It's still blonde, but not nearly as light. The good news is that he really looks like Kevin now. So funny that I used to think that he looked exactly like me and now it's Kevin. But it's also funny that he looks like grown-up Kevin, not baby Kevin.

We are having Lucas' 2nd birthday party at Build a Bear. He has no idea -- he doesn't know to get excited about an upcoming birthday or that he will get presents or cake. He is still at that sweet innocent age where the future is a vague concept and memories are wonderful, but he doesn't realize that things are cyclical and will come again. So I'm planning his party and he is kind of clueless although Zach is excited for him. Zach has asked if he (Zach) can get a special stuffed animal from Build a Bear for himself since he is the birthday boy's brother. Funny boy.

Zachary is SUCH a little boy at this point. He loves to ride his bicycle and is a pretty strong rider. He has been riding up the "big" hill by our house for over a year. We are thinking about taking off his training wheels and seeing how he does. Actually, I should say that Kevin already did this although Zach's balance is not there yet so they went back on, but he's getting there. He did go about a foot before he got wobbly.

We registered Zach for kindergarten this fall. Again, where has the time gone? We had a parent/teacher conference with his preschool teacher recently and I asked her how he was doing -- is he ready for school? The school birthday cutoff date in Massachusetts is September 1st (you must be 5 before then) and I just worry that he might be young, both with maturity and maybe even intellectually, compared to his peers. My fears were assuaged however, when his teacher told us that Zach is a very smart kid, has a lot of friends and is going to be very well prepared for kindergarten. She said he shares well and has "coping" mechanisms to manage when he and a friend both want the same toy. He can count to well over 100, knows his numbers and letters, writes his name and several other words (Mommy, Lucas, Daddy, Emily, dog, cat, etc), and has many "sight" words that he recognizes which is helping as he is learning to read. I'm so proud of Zach -- I do think he is a really smart boy and it makes me so happy/relieved to hear that it's not just me as a proud mama, but that he is really doing well.

Lucas and Zach are really starting to play with each other a lot now. Lucas clearly adores Zach and copies everything he does (including things we'd rather he not do). Zach has a special job after school of helping Lucas take off his shoes and coat. It is the most adorable thing in the world and just makes my heart melt: Lucas goes over to Zach and sits on the floor while Zach takes his shoes off for him. He helps him take off his coat and hangs it on his hook for him. I am trying to praise Zachary when he does things like this because I want to reinforce the sharing and the kindness. It's tough to have a little brother and to have to share your toys and your mommy and daddy, but it's easier when you are buddies and love each other. And they do love each other. They give each other hugs every morning when we drop Zach off at preschool, and give hugs/kisses at bedtime. And they both join forces every evening after dinner to play "blue laser" with Daddy. It's a made-up game of running laps through the toy room, dining room, kitchen, foyer area and hiding from Kevin while he jumps out at different points and yells "roar" at them. They scream in delight every time.

When I was pregnant with Zachary I thought oh my gosh, how am I ever going to manage being the mother of a boy? I know girls. I am a girl and I have a daughter. And I have nephews, but I never realized that little boys, that my sons, could be so incredibly sweet. They are so snuggly and lovable. And I am wrapped very tightly around those little fingers.

Running sucks

I've learned a lot in the last 43 years. Don't judge a book by it's cover. Be kind to others. Count to 10 when you're angry. Think before you speak. I've learned that what is here today may be gone tomorrow.

I've started running lately and at first it was just to build up my metabolism and to help me lose weight. I had no intention of running just to run, to get those endorphins, to enjoy myself when pounding the pavement. No. I don't like to run. I was doing it to get in shape, not for the love of it and certainly I don't "run just to run".

Well, then I decided to run a 5k. And it's in 3 months and now I need to get serious about this running. Every step I take, I hate. I tell myself to change my attitude because it's not helping, but it's hard to change my mindset. But whatever, I'm at least running. But I'm kind of lame about it. I know (kinda) what I need to do to prep myself. I did buy new sneakers. I did finally put music on my ipod (that I've had for a few years and never used). But I do let myself off easy when I run. I'm kind of tougher when I'm on the treadmill at the gym -- it keeps me honest. I can see how fast I'm running, how long I've been running, and how many calories I've burned. But the treadmill at the gym is kind of boring, and it's a cool, air conditioned building. To get serious, I need to run outside.

So today I worked from home, and it is a gorgeous day outside. Seriously, it's like July, not March. We are experiencing global warming in full force, folks. So at midday I thought it would be a good idea to go for a run. I didn't think about the heat or bringing water. I didn't think about the hills and loose pavement. I didn't realize that running fast would make my ipod slide off my pants. I brought my phone (in case I twisted my ankle?) and stuck it in my sports bra after I realized it wasn't working stuck in my underwear (although that had to have made anyone looking out their window laugh, as I retrieved it after it slid halfway down my bum). I did end up finishing 2 miles, but maybe half of that was running. Maybe I can think of it as "sprints" since I ran, then jogged, then walked and huffed. My face must have been beat red.

What a humbling experience. I couldn't run 2 miles straight outside on a beautiful day. For a big chunk of my life I thought I was an athlete. Even after I was no longer an athlete, I still identified as one. When I was 20 years old I was in the best shape of my life. I was a rower. I won a silver medal at Dad Vails. I had a 6 pack and legs to be proud of. It didn't occur to me to be proud of my body, because that was just who I was and it was no big deal. I had no problem staying in shape because I worked out and my metabolism was great. Now I'm an out of shape 43 year old woman who will never again laugh at someone who is huffing and puffing and taking short little jogging steps. Because that is me. And I know how hard it is to rebound.